So my Nani (granny in HINDI) passed away about a month ago. I've never been to a funeral before so it was shocking and incredibly incredibly sad. Everyone hasn't really got over it as it was so unexpected. Anyway , what I just wanted to get off my chest is that I feel quite guilty that I didn't take all of the opportunities that I had to see Nani. I went to netball trips and stuff. I just didn't expect her to pass so soon. Anyway thats it.
Dolphinlover
Wednesday, 20 August 2014
Saturday, 2 August 2014
Sisterly love, hate, relationship
So my sister and I haven't really been able to see eye to eye recently. I guess we are both just at those ages that just clash. I just find her so selfish and annoying but I also am really touchy at the moment which I guess is just down to hormones. I know we're sisters and deep deep down we will always love each other no matter what.. even if we are so so so angry with each other. I also feel like I can't really talk to anyone about how I'm properly feeling. I know my parents would willingly talk to me about it but I feel a bit bad handing all of my bad feelings and sadness onto them. And it must not be very nice to see your children fight. I mean, I just think that they have enough on their plates to contend with at the moment.
Tomorrow we are going up to Scotland. We have a little chalet thing right by the sea on the south-west. My younger cousins are up there now with my grandparents which is nice and I can't wait to spend loads of time with them. But usually at night Jaz and I and some of our other friends would go and meet people in the small playground and just sit round and chat or maybe play football which is fun, however, Jaz and I don't really share friends well as I find her quite dominating and condescending when we're around other people. With my friends I'm always the one that is loud and joking around with my friends but Jaz is also like that so we clash a bit. I just find that she dominates the convo and so people think I'm shy and quiet which makes me angry but I just don't feel like I have the space to say anything. Like, she is the one that asks the questions and stuff like that. Maybe I'm a bit drowned out when I'm around her... yeah... I feel drowned out when i'm around her and other people like our friends... not best friends but just casual friends that we don't see that much. I'm a bit more socially awkward around people that I don't know up there whereas down here I'm fine and am happy to meet friends of friends and stuff.
I see myself more as a stay at home family girl whereas Jaz prefers to go out and socialise with her friends and stuff. Like, I'll go to parties and stuff and go to costa with my friends and go out with them to places for lunch and shopping but I feel as if Jaz takes it to a whole new level. It may be the age gap, but I look at my friends sisters and they are all really close to my friends and that just makes me feel a bit sad because at the moment I don't feel that close with Jaz, but I want to be. We used to be really close but then our personalities just started clashing and I felt like she was being disrespectful to Mum and Dad which aggravated me and now I've just exploded and had enough. But for Mum and Dad's sake I need to stop my occasional snide comments to Jaz and just ignore her, no matter how much she is annoying me. So this is where I'm going to vent.
So get ready because there are going to be many more posts updating you on the way!...
dolphinlover xx
Tomorrow we are going up to Scotland. We have a little chalet thing right by the sea on the south-west. My younger cousins are up there now with my grandparents which is nice and I can't wait to spend loads of time with them. But usually at night Jaz and I and some of our other friends would go and meet people in the small playground and just sit round and chat or maybe play football which is fun, however, Jaz and I don't really share friends well as I find her quite dominating and condescending when we're around other people. With my friends I'm always the one that is loud and joking around with my friends but Jaz is also like that so we clash a bit. I just find that she dominates the convo and so people think I'm shy and quiet which makes me angry but I just don't feel like I have the space to say anything. Like, she is the one that asks the questions and stuff like that. Maybe I'm a bit drowned out when I'm around her... yeah... I feel drowned out when i'm around her and other people like our friends... not best friends but just casual friends that we don't see that much. I'm a bit more socially awkward around people that I don't know up there whereas down here I'm fine and am happy to meet friends of friends and stuff.
I see myself more as a stay at home family girl whereas Jaz prefers to go out and socialise with her friends and stuff. Like, I'll go to parties and stuff and go to costa with my friends and go out with them to places for lunch and shopping but I feel as if Jaz takes it to a whole new level. It may be the age gap, but I look at my friends sisters and they are all really close to my friends and that just makes me feel a bit sad because at the moment I don't feel that close with Jaz, but I want to be. We used to be really close but then our personalities just started clashing and I felt like she was being disrespectful to Mum and Dad which aggravated me and now I've just exploded and had enough. But for Mum and Dad's sake I need to stop my occasional snide comments to Jaz and just ignore her, no matter how much she is annoying me. So this is where I'm going to vent.
So get ready because there are going to be many more posts updating you on the way!...
dolphinlover xx
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